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What would life be like without our dreams? [Senior Life column] | Together

Maybe 50 years ago I quit banjo and guitar. For a man almost 84 years old, it seems like a lifetime. I don’t know what it means to remember the moment I spent with my friends and special people, but it’s the moment I cherish in my life in the twilight era. The fact that I can dream at night and during the day helped.

I didn’t like it when I heard that the good old days were coming back. “Why people are so conservative and think the old way is the best,” I think. But now that I have a better understanding of their meaning, I’ve started eating some of those words.

At that time, I think I’m like an alien in a mysterious world. On the other hand, I often thought that the aliens in this new world were strangers. The world we once knew was the only real world that ever existed.

There is a moment when I wake up in the morning and I don’t know if I’m alive or dead. I know I usually feel my heart beating and breathing, but everything seems very strange. Wherever “here” is, it’s like I don’t belong here.

I find the ability to dream and think about the past very comfortable for me. It seemed like I was really alive at the time, but now it’s gone and I feel like I’m in a space called “Never Never Land.”

Sometimes I wanted to be like Lip Van Winkle. It was just a dream to wake up after sleeping for 20 years and find it while sleeping. I was able to return to my childhood life. When I didn’t close the door at night, I chased the lightning bolts around the garden, went out to the apple orchard in the fall, and picked apples while it was crispy and cold.

I remember Thanksgiving and Christmas, snow and wind, and mom pushing me into bed and putting covers around my neck and head. I loved it because it felt cozy, very loved and warm. I think you need to remember that time yourself. It’s hard to believe they’re gone.

Without dreams, we would be worse. They can help us change our emotional space in a blink of an eye. They can stand between depression and disappointment, loneliness and sadness, helping us turn negative to positive almost instantly.

Dreams also taught me some valuable lessons about parenting my children. I remember answering my dad’s question about what he wanted for Christmas, just like yesterday. I was about 6 years old and as far as I can remember, having a pony was my dream. So, of course, when he asked me, I told him I wanted a pony for Christmas.

I think my dad didn’t feel very good at the news at the time. I remember saying, “Where do you think you can put the pony?” He also said, “I know it costs a lot of money to feed and care for ponies, and I and your mom will do all the work!” I continued.

The message I received was “I really didn’t want to hear what you wanted for Christmas! In fact, it was a mistake to want something as big as a pony. Besides, you are not old enough to take care of it, and I and your mom will do what your job should be. “

I thought I had done something wrong and went away. It was a terrifying experience that turned my hopes into nothing. I think when someone asked about my birthday or Christmas, I could never ask what I wanted. I usually don’t know or say “anything is fine”.

A few years later, when I was attending a family therapy workshop, I heard experts in this field talking about the needs of this same kind of child. I will never forget his answer. Often they already know that there is no way to get exactly what they want, but they enjoy the opportunity to pretend and give them the thrill of receiving dreams, at least for a while. please. “

Fortunately, I learned this lesson before my kids told me what they wanted to receive for Christmas and birthdays.

I remember my top girl saying she wanted to have a puppy for Christmas. Fortunately, my previous experience prepared me not to erase her dreams. I remember she was involved with her in a long conversation about how to name, feed, take a walk and put her to bed. She was clearly pleased to have the opportunity to enjoy pretending to be a dream come true.

It would be wonderful if you could enjoy the illusion of realizing your dreams for a moment when your dreams do not come true. From homes with picket fences, shiny red cars and trucks on the driveway, new babies along the way, and graduation from school, our dreams are important to move our lives forward.

Life can be difficult, and even if most of us know that we may never experience them, it’s great to enjoy our fantasy.

Robert Olsson is an idyllic counselor and family therapist specializing in geriatric issues.He invites comments and speech invitations at robertolsonbdma@gmail.com..

What would life be like without our dreams? [Senior Life column] | Together

Source link What would life be like without our dreams? [Senior Life column] | Together

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